Oh My Son - “You & Your Wealth Belong to your Father”

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Prelude

A dedication to the many fathers who have spoken to me over the years… Who gave it their all — spent their wealth, their energy, their strength, and still… were tested. To the fathers who don’t cry tears from their eyes — but whose hearts bleed in silence. To the fathers who never utter a word of complaint — yet whose pain is heard by the One above the heavens. This is for the fathers who carry their sorrow quietly, who love their children unconditionally — even when that love is not returned. O fathers — have the patience of Ya‘qoob (‘alayhis-salam) — the best of fathers, who bore loss with faith, and whose tears and duas were seen and heard by Allah. A man once came to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ and said, “My father is taking from my wealth.” And the Prophet ﷺ replied: “You and your wealth belong to your father.” And he ﷺ also said: “Your children are among the best of your earnings, so eat from their wealth.” https://sunnah.com/ibnmajah:2292 Some scholars explained that this means a father owns his son’s wealth without constraint. Others said it signifies permission — that a father can take from his son’s property what he needs, without formal consent, as long as it’s done justly. But perhaps the more important question is — Why are we even having this conversation?

The Real Question

If I am to believe what fathers are telling me – Then we’re witnessing an alarming trend — Muslim children, even those practising the Deen, abandoning their fathers. Breaking communication. Refusing even to answer a call. Even blocking. Leave maintaining ties, not even attending to them in their hour of need. Why? The Western, secular, materialistic society has impacted our households, our children. They have been impacted by ‘individualism’ - ‘me, myself and I’, and ‘freedoms’ - such that they have little to no time for their very fathers – as they become independent, able to now ‘fly the nest’, forgetting the very hand which brought them to here in the first place

The Balance

Don’t get me wrong – There are fathers out there who are abusive, outright negligent even disgraceful. Fathers who’ve failed in their duty. We’re not talking about them. We’re talking about the honourable father — the man who has sacrificed his wealth, his health, his life, and his years for his children. A man who worked tirelessly so his sons could stand tall, educated, professional, and respected. Yet those very sons now grow old, find comfort, and turn their backs on him? Why?

The Tragedy

I ask — Which honourable father would ever have the dignity to take from his child’s wealth? The truth is, a responsible father only knows how to give. He gives his time. He gives his strength. He gives his sleep. He gives his money. He gives his life — for his son. And yet, when the same father becomes ill, grows old, dependent — the same son who once clung to his hand as a child, now refuses to even return a call? Subhan Allah. Never mind, the father taking from his son’s wealth – It wouldn’t surprise me if, such sons even reported their fathers to the authorities — for “taking their wealth!” That’s how low the standards of birr al-walidayn — dutifulness to parents — have fallen

The Reminder

So I remind both sides: To the fathers — bear patiently the sour fruits of this society, make dua for the guidance of your children as it is Allah SWT who Alone guides, and review your fatherhood and ensure it is even better for future off spring. And to the sons — remember the words of the Prophet ﷺ: “You and your wealth belong to your father.” He carried you, provided for you in his hardship, and smiled when you succeeded — even when it broke his back to do so. Have you forgotten the nights he stayed awake for you? The years he worked so you could learn? The life he spent to give you comfort and dignity?

The Call to Reflection

Yes, problems, pain, differences happen are part of life. We grow, we change, we develop our own minds. That’s natural. But never forget your roots. Never forget the hand that taught you to walk. The hand that took you to the masjid, school & beyond The hand that never let go — through poverty, trial, through sickness, through every storm of life. And now, when that very hand needs support, you turn away?

The Consequence

Know this: It is your father’s hand that will open the easiest gate of Jannah for you. It is through his pleasure that you earn Allah’s pleasure. And if you still choose to abandon him, then do so at your peril. Because what goes around, comes around. The same way you abandon your father today, your children may abandon you tomorrow. That’s not a curse — that’s the Sunnah of life.

Du'a and Reflection

May Allah protect us from the disease of disobedience and ingratitude. May He forgive our fathers, elevate their ranks, and grant them Jannah al-Firdaus. And may He soften our hearts, heal broken ties, and restore the mercy and honour that once bound father and son. Ameen. Hafiz Sha’ban

A Reminder to all our sons

So tell me, my son — what caused this distance… this wedge between us? Where did I fall short? Was my sacrifice not enough? Did I not give my years, my sleep, my strength, my youth — for you? What changed, my son? Was it the world, the society that taught you to forget? Or did my love fade from your memory with time? I didn’t ask for your wealth. I didn’t ask for your success. All I ever wanted… was your du‘a, your warmth, your company — your voice. So, my son… when you remember me, don’t remember my mistakes — remember my love.